


No more eyes to see the sun

by cruellouelle



Series: Chasing down daydreams [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Panic Attacks, Romance, Sports, Swimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-29
Updated: 2015-03-29
Packaged: 2018-03-20 06:57:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3640983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cruellouelle/pseuds/cruellouelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Harry gets too caught up with the expectations the world has of him, he finds it hard to rely on the people he trusts the most or even himself. His future, regardless of everyone's expectations, lies in the choices he's already made and the few he gets to make now. </p><p>Au: Harry's still a swimming prodigy, Louis' still his boyfriend, and school, life, and swimming clash to make Senior year much more complicated than it needs to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No more eyes to see the sun

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this will be long.
> 
> 1\. This is a sequel to one of my fics and I suggest you read that before reading this.  
> 2\. I personally feel like this is just 13k of nothing, no point to it whatsoever, but it's been sitting here in my documents for so long now and i guess now is a better time to post it than never.  
> 3\. I'm not American (as you can guess by my spelling of certain words) so the education system as well as swimming norms (like swim season) aren't exactly accurate as my own education system and swimming norms are slightly different, if not largely so.  
> 4\. A character experiences a panic attack in this fic so this a warning to anyone reading this who may be triggered by the event.  
> 5\. I will probably never stop writing more of this fic  
> 6\. Shouout to my beta. I can always count on her :*
> 
> I think that is all. I hope you enjoy especially since it's not one of my favourite things I've written.

**-**

_October 2014_

_-_

He is one with the water.

His movements are swift but carefully calculated. His muscles burn under the constant motion, the constant pressure, the constant motivation from his mind that has him  _going_ .

It's way too early for anyone to be up, much less training, but Harry is always going, always working for a satisfaction that can only be achieved with every millisecond shed off his times, every race won and every championship entered.

He personally likes to call himself dedicated, a  _workaholic_ even though it's not his job. He'd like to make it his job, though, but he'd have to work  _harder._ He can't burn out and he can't get injured, but he has to keep  _going._

Harry pants as he touches the wall, completely the final set of training. He pulls off his goggles easily and looks up to his personal coach on the deck who gives him a small smile and a minute to catch his breath.

He runs a hand through his messy hair, now regretting not wearing a cap today. He initially had done so as an attempt to use his hair as extra drag, but it seems that his hair has grown far too long for that, the locks constantly blocking his view and tickling his neck.

In no time his muscles feel ready again, his breathing has steadied and he could do another five thousand metres of drills. He wants to ask actually, but he knows that the time's up and he needs to warm down before the regular rush to get prepared for school.

He's granted a one thousand metre warm down and after being explicitly ordered that he  _take it easy,_ he follows. He stretches through it instead of actually swimming and it takes him a bit longer to finish than he normally would, but he  _was_ ordered to take it easy.

When he's done, he exchanges a few words with the coach before rushing off to the showers. His mother is waiting for him in the car as always and he drags his feet on the way as if he hadn't just had an almost three hour wake up/training session.

No, he drags his feet because he has to go to  _school,_ which these days hasn't been going very well for him.

The school district has begun to clamp down on its rules, meaning Harry's constant lateness and often absence is beginning to be a strain. He's failing a subject and if he doesn't bring up his grades, he's going to be suspended from the swim team and it's absolute  _shit._

 

He grunts when they pull up to the school and bitterly gives his mum a quick kiss before pottering to his homeroom before he can be marked as late.

His spirits are lifted, however, when he's greeted with the most gorgeous smile to ever exist.

He practically bounces over to his boyfriend, taking the empty seat beside him and sneaking in a quick kiss without the teacher seeing.

Louis narrows his eyes at him suddenly and he almost rolls his eyes at what he knows is coming, “Did you have breakfast?”

“Not yet,” he whispers with a grin, “I'd like to eat you though.”

“Ugh, gross,” Louis mutters, pushing Harry's face from his, “I'm being entirely serious.”

“So am I!” Harry protests and it earns him another glare. He actually does roll his eyes now even though he knows how scary Louis gets when he goes into overprotective mode.

He focuses himself on a random chart at the front of the room but he looks back when he hears some shuffling around beside him. As he turns his head, there's a breakfast bar shoved in his face and Louis' looking at him intensely.

Harry sighs as he accepts it, not exactly appreciating the baby treatment, but grateful for the snack anyway. He really needs to start taking this swimmer diet thing seriously.

The day goes by and he's hardly ashamed that he's fallen asleep again in math when he's supposed to be trying to get his grades up.

The only thing he's excited for is team practice. He doesn't have a late detention again so he's able to dash out of class and to the locker rooms quickly to be the first one there.

He's already changed when his teammates come in and he's stopped by Liam on his way to the pool, “You really need to relax, mate.”

Harry smiles at him, “I'm fine, Li. I just wanna get in a few extra laps of warm up today.”

Liam still doesn't let him go, firm grasp on Harry's arm, “Harry, it's senior year. Swimming can take a little step back while you prep for college.”

“Swimming is what's taking me college,” Harry says and it's not exactly true. His grades are fairly good, excepting math, and if he spent a little more time on school they'd definitely be better. It's just that swimming is what's  _definitely_ taking him to college, full scholarship and all.

“That doesn't mean you have to ignore school completely,” Liam reasons, “There's no point of even going to college if you you don't even care about school anyway.”

Harry knows all this. He hears it from his parents, his coaches, his teachers, his boyfriend. He's heard it a million times before and yet he can't take a day off from training. He can't stop his Saturday morning jogs, his Tuesday afternoon weight training.

He  _can't_ .

He shrugs Liam off and jogs down to the pool. He immediately attempts to tame his hair under the swim cap and almost screams in frustration when far too many locks stick out. He's tempted to just jump in with it like that, but he knows as soon as he starts swimming, the cap will slide right off.

He rips it off, throwing it to the ground as he moves on to fastening his goggles.

He feels a soft hand on his arm and he knows who it is just from the touch.

He stares back at Louis who doesn't seem to be here to scold him over throwing down his swim cap. Louis looks more calm and comforting, “Hey, don't go abusing your swim cap.”

Harry frowns and for the first time today he feels how tense his muscles are, “I can't really bother with it right now.”

Louis looks at him sympathetically and brings his hand up to run through his messy hair, “Want help? Just like old times?”

Harry can't help but to grin, bending down to pick up the cap and holding on to one end with both hands.

Louis matches his grin, taking hold of the other side in the same manner and then they both pull. Harry bends his knees, bowing his head while Louis stretches the cap over his head, successfully trapping his curls.

When Harry stands up straight again he feels somewhat relieved. Louis' smiling up at him and Harry marvels at their height difference, the way he almost towers over him and he blames it on the damn swimming. It's made his shoulders ridiculously broad and his long limbs sleek and somehow his height over Louis looks bigger than it actually is.

“I can't stay for practice today,” Louis says to bring him out of his thoughts.

He frowns in response, “How come?”

Louis groans, “I have a lot of work to do for this week. I figured it'd be better if I got a head start if I went home from now.”

“Oh yeah, school,” Harry mumbles.

Louis raises a brow at his response, “Which reminds me, how's the math going?”

Harry shrugs, “I haven't really had the time to work on it.”

“It's not a shrugging matter,” Louis scolds, “You really need to start putting some effort into school.”

“I know,” Harry sighs, not up for the lecture, “Can we just not talk about it now?”

Louis knows Harry better than he thinks he knows himself and so he lets it go. For now.

“Alright, but we need to talk about that, okay?”

Harry nods, pecking him on the lips before stepping away to stand at the edge of the pool, fiddling with his goggles.

He watches Louis go and sighs. His mood has been sour lately and it's just the stress getting to him, but he can't help wanting to swim over everything else.

He tries to shake it off by swimming a few warm up laps before their coach arrives and the actual training starts.

He always feels more comfortable swimming with his friends rather than just himself, but today he can feel the weight of the world crashing down on him. If he doesn't get up to scratch in school, he'll no longer be able to swim for the team and that's probably the last thing he wants.

He feels frustrated with his coach today since he feels the training's way to easy even though it's not swimming season. He just wants to literally  _drown_ himself from his thoughts.

He's quiet on the way home, despite his mother's attempts to get him to speak but he's too lost in his thoughts.

He performed well for the second time at Junior World's and he's more than aware that he has A times for the  _World Championships._ He's gotten  _too_ many offers from different universities looking for him to swim for them, but for the first time it's all so overwhelming.

He's overwhelmed by the beginning of senior year, by how much faster he's getting and just life in general. He's not sure  _what to do._

At home, he hurries to shower and eat his dinner before flopping down on in his bed in defeat. He's ridiculously tired from being up at five in the morning and having two different training sessions plus school.

He somehow manages to grab his school bag and start some home work although he couldn't care less at the moment.

He's happy for the distraction that comes in the form of a phone call and he's answering before he can even look at the number.

“Harry?” He hears Louis' voice and he feels his heart speed at just that.

“Hey, Lou,” he breathes out.

“How much did you overwork yourself today?” Louis jokes.

“ _Heyyy,_ ” Harry protests, “Training was pretty easy actually.”

“I'm glad you'll only have to take just one dose of ibroprufen today.”

Harry grins as he thinks on the slight soreness in his shoulder, “You're so mean to me.”

Louis laughs, “If I don't do it, then who will? No one but me can say no to those dimples.”

Harry giggles, “True.”

“Anyway,” Louis starts, “I'm just calling to make sure you've eaten, taken your vitamins and started your home-work.”

Harry sighs, but he's still smiling, “Yes, I did,  _mum_ .”

“I'm sorry, Harry. I just have to take care of you, you know?”

Harry rolls his eyes, “I know, baby. I'm far too adorable to be left alone.”

“When did you get so conceited?” Louis jokes but Harry replies completely serious.

“You make me confident.”

 

He knows Louis' blushing but he continues anyway, “Every time you pester me about getting sleep or doing my essays or taking my vitamins, it really keeps me going. It makes me happy.”

“Oh, Harry,” Louis sighs and Harry can hear his fond.

“I love you, baby,” Harry says quietly.

“You're such a sap,” Louis replies. Harry hears some shuffling in the back ground and he assumes it's Louis changing positions on his bed , “I love you too.”

“I wanna take you on a date,” Harry says softly, rolling over to lie on his stomach.

“Oh,” Louis starts and he sounds skeptical, “We don't really go on dates much.”

“Exactly why we should go on one.”

“What do you have in mind then?”

“Hmm,” Harry thinks, “How about a water park?”

Louis bursts out laughing, “Something that doesn't include water, for fuck's sake.”

“If we go somewhere without water I'll probably trip and fall.”

“I'll definitely do my best to catch you.”

“As if you could carry me.” There's a comfortable silence for a while until Harry breaks it, “I'll surprise you.”

“Right. You should try to get some good hours of sleep since you don't have morning training tomorrow,” Louis says.

Harry nods although Louis can't see him, “I know but I have a shit tonne of home work to do and the school is really on my back about this math thing. Not to mention my mom.”

“It'll be fine, babe. Just get some sleep and tomorrow you can skip practice and we can work it out, okay?”

Harry groans, “Lou, I can't just not swim tomorrow. Sunday is my no swimming day for the week. I can't have two.”

“It's just a day, Harry. You, me, some math books.”

“I don't know,” Harry says, although he's pretty much desperate to do it.

“I'll talk to Aunty Anne about it if you don't.”

Harry gasps, “Not my mother! She's the biggest sellout.”

He can almost hear Louis' smirk. “Then say, 'Yes, I, Harry Styles, will ditch practice to study and fuck my boyfriend.”

Harry pouts, “Yes, I, Harry Styles, will ditch practice to study and fuck my-- Wait, who said anything about fucking?”

“That's what it always comes to anyway,” Louis says nonchalantly, “I don't see why we should pretend.”

“Well, you can talk to my mom about it then.”

“Get some sleep,” Louis says, “Leave that to me.”

Eventually, he hangs up, putting his phone to charge and almost packing his training bag. He drifts off quickly, mind thinking about Louis' pretty eyelashes and sculpted face.

-

_December 2010_

_-_

At age thirteen, Harry gets invited to a swim camp in Australia.

He's over excited now that  _finally_ this swimming thing is paying off and he's reaping the rewards. He's the only swimmer in his age group he received the invitation and with his newest growth spurt he's confident that he's surpassing them all.

The only problem is that the camp is during Christmas break and he had planned to go on a trip to Disney World with Louis.

In his excitement he does his best to believe Louis' flippant ' _It's fine, Haz.'_ or  _'We can go over the summer'_ but that part of him that's so in tune with Louis sees through the fake smiles. He knows how hurt Louis is over him cancelling the trip; it's practically written all over his face.

“You are  _not_ missing out on Australia for  _Disney Land_ ,” Louis scolds him when he suggests that he just forget about the camp.

Training ended only ten minutes ago and as usual they're both lazing around in the locker room while the other team members shower.

Harry runs his hand through his wet hair, standing somewhat awkwardly in his speedo while Louis seems fully dressed with his jammers and T-shirt. He sighs as he thinks of how he's going to convince him, “I already talked to mom about it and she said that it'd be too expensive to cancel our airline tickets for  _Los Angeles_ and then going all the way to Australia would be too much of a hassle. She'd only do it if I was absolutely sure I wanted to go, which I'm not.”

Louis shakes his head as he closes his locker, “Harry, this could be that once in a lifetime opportunity for you. We can just go some other time.”

Harry frowns as he takes a seat on the bench parallel to the lockers, “We've been planning this for more than a year now. It's a landmark in out friendship.”

“It's Disneyland.”

“So?” Harry questions, “It's not about Disneyland. It's about us. We're best friends, Lou. We're gonna travel together and pretend we're too cool for Disney princesses but then take a picture with all of them. We're supposed to pig out on whatever atrocities they sell in the amusement park. We're supposed to finally prove which Hogwarts house we're in. All the preparations are already made and I don't want to throw it away for some random camp on Australia.”

“Nathan Adrian went to this camp. Cullen Jones, your ultimate man-crush went to this camp. It's not just some random camp.”

Harry knows this, of course he does. He spends all his free time finding out everything about Cullen Jones. He's just surprised Louis knows this since these days his attitude towards swimming has been so lazy.

Harry pouts as he always does, hoping it'll sway him, “I don't want to go.”

Louis rolls his eyes, sitting beside him an slinging an arm around his shoulders, “You do though. We'll do Disneyland in the summer. Promise?”

Harry only grumbles but Louis knows he's won.

Harry ends up going to the camp. It turns out to be one of the greatest swimming experiences he could ever hope for, the opportunity to swim with young hopefuls like him who hope to make it big from all over the world.

The next summer Harry goes to camp in Germany; they never get to fulfil that promise.

-

_October 2006_

_-_

They say that swimming is its best when you're a kid. When it's about being on a relay with your friends and not about beating your friends. When it's about winning the race and not about the times.

They say it's better when you're a kid because it's  _simple._

That's why at age nine, Harry swimming with his best friend is the best thing he could ever dream of.

Their group is doing sprints so Harry stands on the pool deck, shivering while trying to cover himself up. Louis knocks into him out of nowhere, pushing them both to the ground.

“It's so easy to beat you up,” Louis grins from beside him.

Harry's a bit scared that their coach will shout at them from mucking around but he punches Louis in the shoulder while grumbling, “No it's not.”

“Ow,” Louis mutters, “That hurt.”

Harry rolls onto his knees and grabs Louis up by the arms, “So does being pushed to the ground.”

“Harry and Louis!” Their coach shouts, “Stop playing around and get up for your sprints.

The two kids obey, standing by the edge of the pool and putting their goggles over their eyes.

“Race you in butterfly?” Louis says with a wide grin.

Harry grins back, “I'll beat you.”

On the coach's command, they take their marks, set, and go.

Harry has a better reaction time than Louis and is off first, doing his little butterfly kicks underwater. He starts his stroke like he always does and he keeps it cool unlike Louis' more aggressive and powerful stroke.

Harry looks beside him and Louis' right there and surprisingly enough he hasn't passed him yet.

They reach the wall at the same time but Louis inches forward with an extra stroke and touches him out.

Harry catches his breath while Louis gloats, unable to stop himself from staring at Louis' excited grin.

-

_December 2008_

_-_

At age eleven, they're at a meet about to swim the fifty metre butterfly finals, Louis in lane four and Harry in five.

The race goes as it normally does; they swim it as if they're swimming together, neck and neck until the final fifteen metres.

Somehow Harry finds that extra push and he's an inch ahead. Then he's more than ahead and at the wall with time to spare before Louis arrives.

He grins when he looks up at the board to see he's done a personal best of 31.89. It's a big achievement and just a second or two off his freestyle time. It's not until he hears a few sobs beside him that he's brought back into the real world.

He looks to his left, only to see Louis' arms folded and braced against the wall and his head buried in it and his shoulders quivering from his sobs.

“Louis?” Harry starts as he treads over to the lane line and leans over it, “Louis, what happened?”

Louis seems to jump at that and with his goggles on, you can hardly tell he was crying. “I'm fine,” he chokes out but it's horribly unconvincing.

Harry frowns and is about to speak when they're told to clear the pool.

When he gets out, he doesn't see Louis until he goes to the almost empty locker rooms where he's sitting with his knees pulled up to his chest while facing a corner.

Harry rushes to sit beside him and pull him into a hug, “It wasn't a bad race, Lou.”

Louis sniffles, “You beat me, Harry.”

Harry frowns at that, “It's not the first time.”

Louis shakes his head and pulls himself out of the hug to wipe at his eyes. He feels small and stupid as they sit on the floor in just their speedo jammers, “You're so much faster than me in everything. And now in my own stroke. That wasn't a touch out. You were the better swimmer and you won.”

Harry bites his lip and looks down at his lap, “I'm sorry.”

“God, Haz, you can't be sorry for that. I'm just disappointed in myself.”

Harry nods, “I understand. It's okay. You just have to train more, that's all.”

Louis doesn't say anything about the way he's noticed how much Harry's changed. How much taller he's gotten and how broader his shoulders are, how his body is sleek and perfect for the water. He doesn't say anything about the way his body  _isn't._

He doesn't mention it  _at all._

-

_October 2014_

_-_

Louis tackles him after school, jumping on his back in a surprise attack that was a little bit too risky. Harry, luckily, catches him easily and laughs as his hands grip Louis' thighs, “Are you trying to kill me?”

Louis grins, letting out a soft laugh in his ear as he's carried across the school's yard and to the gate. He ignores the usual looks they get as two blokes who cuddle up too much but mostly people are used to it, rolling their eyes at them whenever they get up to their antics.

“What gives you that impression?”

“Oh, I don't know. It could be that you jump on my back when I'm unsuspecting but, eh, it's probably just a feeling.”

Louis scoffs at that, “You totally saw me.”

Harry replies with a smirk, “You don't know that.”

Harry puts him down when they're on the road then straightens out his clothes, “Does your grand study plan include us walking home?”

Louis waved his hand in dismissal, “It'll be romantic. My house is nearer anyway.”

Harry frowns, “Are we going to study with all your sisters around?”

Louis lightly swats him on the arm, “It'll be fine.”

Harry grabs Louis' hand and softly kisses the knuckles, “I believe you.”

Louis feels his heart flutter at the sensation and he's pulling his hand away with a blush, “Stop being so romantic.”

“No,” Harry says with a shit eating grin before he's getting down on his knee.

Louis looks around and feels nervous at the people staring at them, “Harry, stop.”

“ _I've been dreaming of a true love's kiss,_ ” Harry begins in song before he's breaking out into laughter, “Calm down, a little romance never killed anybody.”

“Oh really? Romeo and Juliet? Gatsby and Daisy? Some other really popular but strange works of literature?”

Harry gets up and bumps Louis with his shoulder, “Those aren't real, though.”

Louis rolls his eyes, “Whatever.”

“Don't whatever me,” Harry whines while pouting, “Admit I'm right.”

“You look like a six foot tall baby right now.”

Harry shrugs, “I am a six foot tall baby.”

“Whatever.”

-

“They probably had a good training session today,” Harry grumbles into the pillow.

They're in Louis' room, Louis at the end of the bed, trying to get Harry to cooperate while Harry lies face first on the pillow in protest.

Louis looks at his watch, noting that swim training would probably be over soon and since he and Harry got in a good two hours of studying, he should let the poor lad free.

“Alright, lazy bum,” Louis rolls his eyes, “That's enough studying for today.”

Harry somehow recovers from his state of destitute and is up in no time, crawling over to Louis to kiss him quickly, “Yay.”

Louis tries to keep himself composed from the kiss, but he knows he's probably blushing like crazy and he can feel his body heating up, “We need to do this more often. For school and all.”

“Mm,” Harry hums, attaching his lips to Louis' neck to suck a small bruise into the skin. Louis gasps, hand reaching into Harry's hair and tugging gently.

Harry's mouth does good work on his neck, licking and biting into the delicate skin so as to bring the now squirming the boy all the pleasure he could ever have.

“Harry,” he moans softly, his head falling back to further bare his neck for him. He feels big hands roam up and down his sides, tickling the sides of his stomach and stopping to press against his sensitive nipples through his shirt.

Harry's moved up to his jaw now and he's given him little playful nips, teasing the soft sounds out of him, “You're a fabulous teacher, Lou.”

Harry's voice comes out rough and raspy and the vibrations send chills down his spine and it works wonders for getting his pants to tighten.

“You're a- ah- great learner,” Louis manages to say as he squirms, somewhat trapped by Harry's ministrations.

Suddenly he's lifted into Harry's lap and his lips are captured in a rough kiss while Harry's hands grip locks of his hair, holding his face in front of his.

Louis' hands grab onto Harry's shirt, pulling at the material as his Harry basically fucks his mouth with his tongue.

He wants to chide him for being so rough, but he can't deny how  _good_ it feels to be manhandled, to have Harry completely take over his movements.

Soon enough, Harry pulls his lips away to focus on getting rid of Louis' clothes, almost ripping it off in excitement. Louis' eventually pushed back onto the bed, his legs hiked up by Harry's hands, bringing them closer to his chest as the younger boy noses at his rim, causing him to let out a small whimper.

They don't have sex as often as they'd both like, both of them often being to busy or tired to do much in the first place. But when they do, one of Louis' favourite things is having Harry's tongue inside him, licking him out, biting at his rim, anyway he can have his tongue.

Harry wastes no time to press his tongue in and it has Louis panting and begging for more. Harry pulls it out too quickly, though, having Louis to whine in frustration.

“ Hold your legs for me,” Harry says in his throaty  _deep_ voice and normally Louis would complain about his impatient tone but right now, he needs Harry to get back to work.

He takes hold of his thighs, fingers brushing with Harry's for a moment that sends shudders through his body. He ignores the strain in his thighs as he holds them up. In this position he's so helpless and opened for Harry and it's exactly what he needs.

Harry's hands have moved on to Louis' bum, holding the firm cheeks apart to give himself even more access as he stares in awe at Louis' pink and puckered rim.

Harry presses a soft kiss to it, appreciating the small sigh he hears in response. His hands then squeeze Louis' bum and he's hit with the sudden urge to  _bite._ His teeth bite down on the soft flesh of Louis' bum and the squeak that Louis lets out is a more than satisfying response.

Louis' begun to get fidgety and impatient so Harry's moth moves back over to his hole, licking around it teasingly.

“Please,” Louis whimpers, his cock almost full and hard from the teasing, “Please, Harry.”

Harry can't say no to him,  _not ever_ , so he presses his tongue in and begins to fuck it in and out, stopping occasionally to nip at the puckered entrance before he continues his assault.

“ _Yes yes yes yes,_ ” Louis moans and he sounds so  _desperate_ that Harry finds it hard to ignore the throbbing of his own cock.

He fucks him with his tongue for another minute, waiting until he sees Louis' cock is fully hard and leaking before he pulls out and leaves the boy panting and gasping for breath.

He shuffles off the bed to throw off his own clothes, Louis almost breaking out into laughter when he almost trips over his jeans.

He hurries to climb back on, crawling over Louis with a dark expression, “I'm gonna fuck you raw.”

Louis gulps at that because he already feels fucked out from just his tongue and he knows exactly how much better Harry's cock feels, big and hard as it pounds into him, hitting his  _spot_ over and over again with absolutely no mercy.

Harry palms at his cock covered by his briefs and Louis decides to take some initiative. He sits up on his knees and kisses Harry, moaning when Harry responds quickly. He pulls away after a few seconds to trail kisses down Harry's toned torso, cock feeling impossibly hard as he stares down his perfectly muscled body, hardened by years of training.

He stops at his briefs, moving backwards to bend his back so he can mouth at the length through the cotton. Harry moans softly while a hand instinctively goes to Louis' hair, resting it atop his head.

Louis' saliva is beginning to seep through the material and Harry finds himself bucking into his mouth as Louis slowly peels the boxers away, leaving them just below his bum.

His tongue licks over the entire length of Harry's cock, sucking hard at the head which has Harry's hand tightening in his hair. Louis finally takes him in his mouth, hollowing his cheeks as he bobs up and down his cock, staring up at him with those disgustingly pretty eyes.

Harry looks down at him in awe and can't help the gasps and moans that escape him as Louis takes more and more of him down his throat until his nose is touching at his base of his cock.

“Oh fuck,” Harry whispers as he feels Louis' throat flutter around him. Louis pulls off to breathe and it leaves a trail of spit connecting his lip and the head of his cock and,  _fuck,_ if that isn't the hottest thing.

“Condom and lube,” Harry says hurriedly, desperate to fuck him  _now._

Louis doesn't waste any time as he moves over to his bedside table to bring out the items, laying them out on the bed. Harry grabs up the lube and quickly slicks up two fingers. He throws it down onto the bed and uses his clean hand to lift Louis into the position he want, on his knees, arse up and face down.

He plunges the fingers in deep, further stretching out his already wet hole while all Louis can do is moan, head between his arms as his arse is filled up with Harry's fingers.

Once he feels he's open enough, Harry removes his fingers and moves for the condom this time, ripping it open with his teeth and rolling it onto his cock.

He grabs the lube again, pouring onto his cock and using his own hand to spread it around, having to squeeze hard to keep himself from coming too quickly.

He adjusts himself so that his cock is lined up with Louis' hole and he pushes in with a groan, unable to keep his eyes off the way it accepts him in, as if his cock was made to be there.

Louis pushes back against Harry's cock, taking him in completely as his arse stays flushed against Harry's hips, “Fuck, Harry.”

Harry's hands move to his waist, getting a good enough grip before he's pulling out and thrusting back in again. He sets up brutal pace, fucking into him hard and fast, each thrust drawing a whimper from Louis.

“Fuck,” Louis sobs as Harry begins to hit his prostate directly, “I'm gonna come.”

Harry only grunts in response as his hips move impossibly faster, cock twitching around Louis' quivering hole.

Louis feels completely blissed as he comes, his muscles clenching and cock spurting as he bites into his arm to keep him from shouting.

“ _Louis_ ,” Harry moans as Louis' hole tightens around his cock and he comes himself, filling up the condom as he continues his thrusts to ride out both their orgasms.

“Holy fuck,” Louis whispers when Harry pulls out, collapsing completely on to the bed, “That was...”

“Amazing?” Harry supplies while he ties up the condom and throws it in the direction of the bin, hoping it lands in.

Louis manages to frown even with his whole body feeling lifeless, “You better not leave your spunk around my room.”

Harry falls on to the bed beside him with a deep sigh, “I'm a swimmer not a basketball player.”

Louis rolls over on to his side to cuddle him although their bodies are wet and sticky from their sweat and come, “Whatever. Just pick it up later.”

Harry turns on to his side so he can embrace him better, wrapping his arms around him as he presses a gentle kiss to his forehead, “Love you so much.”

Louis closes his eyes at that and buries his face into his neck where his lips press against Adam's apple.

“Love you more,” he whispers, his lips softly tickling the skin.

“I didn't ask my mom to sleepover, you know.”

“Mm, I know,” Louis hums before yawning, “She'll probably just call my mum.”

Harry laughs, “You know I forgot that your family lives here. We should have been way more quiet.”

“Well, it's too late now. What they didn't know before, they know now,” Louis says sleepily.

“Oh no,” Harry panics, “What if we've scarred your little sisters?”

Louis groans, “Harry. Sleep. Now. Please.”

Harry sighs, “Alright fine, but when your sisters get nightmares it'll be your problem and not mine.”

It's not really true since Louis' family is basically his, and anything that happens with them affects him too. He gives up, though and strokes Louis' back as he listens to his breathing even out and feels his eyes flutter closed on his neck.

He actually forgets about swimming for once.

-

_November 2014_

_-_

Harry's sat nervously beside his mother in the school office, eagerly awaiting their meeting with the principal over his spot on the team. Anne sits still compared to his constantly jiggling leg, a magazine in her hands as they wait to be called in.

Swimming isn't in its height this time of year; September to December normally being a break time for swimmers due to the weather. There are a few meets, but they usually bear almost no weight for when the season starts.

There is a fairly big meet, though, comprising of most schools from the state. It's more of a prep meet for before the actual season starts. Harry really has nothing to worry about since he swims on an international level, but his spot on the team is currently being threatened by the school itself.

Now, he and his mother have to negotiate some sort of deal that lets him swim for the school even though he still has a subject he's failing.

“Harry Styles?” the receptionist calls out politely and they both stand to be directed, “Principal Fulton will see you now.”

Anne smiles at the woman, walking ahead of Harry and into the office, shaking hands with the principal before sitting down.

Harry keeps his head down, mumbling a quick 'good morning' as he takes his own seat in front of the desk and beside his mother.

“So, Harry. You're here to discuss your spot on the swim team, yes?” Principal Fulton starts politely.

Harry finally looks up, nodding his head before speaking, “Uh, yes.”

“Well, the school has a strict rule when it comes to our sports teams and it's that you can't compete if you're failing any subject.”

Harry swallows, “Yes, I know, but I'm working on it.”

Anne decides to speak up then, “What can we do to get him passing Math before the actual swim season starts? This meet he can miss, but when the actual season starts, his training regimen will double.”

Harry frowns at that, because he has no intention of missing  _any meet._ This meeting is supposed to get him at that meet, not  _keep him from it._

“Wait, I'm not missing this meet. The team needs me.”

Anne turns to look at him, expression scolding him, “Well, you've had a month to bring up your math grade and you  _haven't._ ”

“It's just  _one_ grade, mum, and I've always been bad at it. You can't punish me for it!” Harry says and it comes out harsher than he thought it would.

“Shouting isn't going to help,” Anne says calmly before turning back to the principal, “Now, what can we do?”

Harry feels his whole face flush and suddenly his fists are balling into fists, lying on his thighs as he feels so out of control, so vulnerable, as if he were about  _burst._

“We can't stop Harry from competing in National and International meets, and, believe me,  _ we don't want  _ to . But when it comes to school meets, we can't allow him to compete. The district has been clamping down and we can't make any exceptions for him.”

“It's not like I'm stupid,” Harry grits out, “It's one subject and it doesn't affect anything else on my report.”

“Those are the rules, love,” Anne says, hand coming to push back his fringe from his face.

Harry shakes his head, effectively causing her hand to fall, “I don't understand why you're not on my side! Swimming is what I love and you're trying to stop me.”

Anne's lips purses together, “We're all on your side here, Harry. It's just up to you to do something about the grade.”

Harry stood up, hands flying into his hair to grip tufts of curls, “I'm trying! I'm trying and you all don't care!”

“Harry calm down and sit,” Anne says sternly, “We are trying to help you right now and you're being extremely difficult.”

Principal Fulton just sits back in his chair and watches the pair argue.

Harry's overwhelmed; he feels his eyes water and his lip begins to tremble and suddenly he just needs to get away from it all, “I'm sorry. I'm really sorry for my behaviour... I just need to-- go.”

He's running out before anyone can stop him and then he somehow finds himself in the bathroom, unable to stop the flow of tears that now runs down his face. His breathing is picking up and he braces his arms on the counter, his knuckles whitening at his tight grip.

He can feel how heated his face is from crying and he knows that anyone could walk in at any minute but he just  _can't stop._

He's sobbing now, the sounds tearing from his throat as his wind pipe seems as if it's closing, as if he  _can't breathe._

 

It's not an asthma attack, he knows that he can breathe, he knows that if he just takes a breath, he'll feel better but he literally _can't._

He can't stop crying and his body refuses to take in air and he can't even remember why he's here in the first place. He doesn't even know who he is anymore.

He doesn't know why his whole body is shaking, his mind is fuddled and he doesn't know why he just won't  _breathe._ He somehow finds himself on the ground and his vision is blurring and he's not sure how he ended up sitting but he tries to still his beating heart. He tries to focus on the water, on how good it feels to be in it, how it feels to be pulled by its gentle current. How good it is to control that current and use it in your favour.

He breathes in. He breathes out.

He continues doing this, over and over again until he's sure he's seeing properly, until he's sure he remembers why he's in this state.

He wipes at his eyes, and shakily stands up, grabbing onto the counter to balance himself. He looks at himself in the mirror, viewing his red and tear stained face and messy curls.

He looks a complete mess and he does his best to straighten himself out. He still looks stressed out but he's okay now and he's sure he's going to put on the show of his life.

Harry walks out, glad that class is still in session so the hallways are empty. He strolls back to the office, smiling politely at the receptionist before stopping at the principal's door to take a deep breath.

He knocks three times before letting himself, noticing both stares on him as he walks in.

“I'm sorry,” he starts, “For that. I just needed a minute.”

“Well, are you alright now?”

Harry nods, hoping they don't pick up on his distresses state, “Yes, I am.”

He takes back his seat, keeping his head down to avoid his mother's eyes.

“We were saying that it's possible for you to compete in the meet.” Mr. Fulton says

Harry looked up, “Really?”

His mother speaks up then, “Since it's not the end of the first semester, we don't have to count your grade as it is now. But next term, if you're not passing, then there's no team competition.”

Harry feels a rush of relief flow through his body and he lets it out in a sigh, “Thank you.”

They end the meeting there, shaking hands before Anne takes Harry out in the hallways to talk, “And what was that a while ago?”

Harry scratches the back of his neck, “I panicked.”

Anne raises a brow, “Panic?”

Harry nods, “Yeah. I was a little overwhelmed and I'm sorry.”

Her expression softens as she finally takes in his appearance, “Baby, were you crying?”

Harry feels his cheeks heat up, turning his head away, “No way.”

“Oh my god you were,” she gasps, bringing him into a hug, “Nobody's mad at you, okay? Don't forget that.”

He nods, wrapping his arms around her, “Thank you, mum.”

Eventually, she has to leave and Harry's left to return to his own class, taking another a deep breath as he makes his way.

He feels more like himself now, and he's more than a little confused as to what happened, but he tries to ignore it, tries to push the thoughts out of his head.

He has more important things to do.

-

He pushes himself harder in training. And he's lectured about it over and over about how he's supposed to take it easy this time of year.

_But he just doesn't fucking care._ He's never felt more comfortable than when he's working hard in training. It has its consequences though and he feel the strain in his muscles every day after weight training, the way he's way too tired to do much else.

But he still  _tries_ , staying up an extra hour every night to work on the math since there's no way he's not swimming with the team after Christmas break.

It's starting to pay off a bit, his recent test scores being significantly better, but it's still a hassle when he can barely get a wink of sleep every night. He can barely have a little downtime for himself.

Everywhere he goes, there's some conversation about senior year, or university, or anything  _dull._

He just wants to have fun.

The meet is three days long; just Friday, Saturday and Sunday, having its usual events. Harry doesn't feel like his usual self, he doesn't feel antsy or nervous. He feels somewhat ready and that's how he knows something is  _wrong._

He carries on anyway, completing Friday's programme, swimming times more than suitable for this time of year.

Saturday morning is when he starts to feel really horrible.

Louis comes over early and they play around in his bedroom until Anne is pushing them through the door so that Harry isn't late for warm up.

Louis kisses him when he's stripped down to just his little speedo that fits over his little bum perfectly, “What events do you have today?”

Harry has to think about it, “Uh, I have hundred back and two hundred fly in the morning and four hundred IM and hundred free in the evening.”

Louis punches him in the shoulder and he staggers back a bit to both their surprise, “Sounds about good. Any particular strategy?”

Harry shakes his head, “Nah. I'm taking it easy, remember?”

Louis rolls his eyes, “Right. Go and warm up so I don't have to be stretching out any muscle contractions for you later.”

Harry laughs, clenching his fists to muscle up his arms, showing off its toned shape, “But you just love my muscles.”

Louis scrunches up his nose, “Gross.”

Harry kisses him on the nose, whispering, “I love you,” before sauntering away to join his team in the pool.

Louis sighs as he sits down in the stands, watching the numerous amount of people in the pool warming up, stretching their muscles for the day's work.

Louis actually smiles as he remembers how he and Harry used to play around during warm up, getting shout at by their coach for their delinquency. He can never forget the day when they both paid for it when they spent a good hour crying in the locker room after swimming four hundred free without warming up properly, leading to the worst muscle cramps they've ever experienced.

He's brought out of his thoughts by a punch to the shoulder and he curses silently as looks up to see Zayn plopping down beside him, “What the fuck was that for?”

Zayn shrugs, “I wake up this early to watch some swimming and this is how I'm treated.”

Zayn and swimming don't exactly mesh together well, his most recent disaster being Louis having to pull him out of the deep end at a recent birthday party.

Louis scowls at him, “You're not the one who got punched, arsehole.”

Zayn shrugs again, pulling a book out of his bag and opening up to the page he's on. Louis doesn't even bother after that, eyes naturally going back to Harry in the water. Louis frowns when he notices his stroke; it looks lazy, something Louis has never witnessed from his boyfriend.

He chalks it up to lack of eagerness in warm up, knowing that no one is ever thrilled about it in the first place. But it's still so unlike him to ever let his stroke look so sloppy.

Maybe he's trying something new.

Harry comes out of the water eventually and he seems more like himself, nervously biting his lip as he psychs himself out. Louis only pats him on the back when he sits beside him and Zayn in the stands, since it's what he does every time.

Harry manages a bit of conversation, causing Louis to blush and roll his eyes at his cheesy chat up lines. Eventually he leaves to swim his hundred back and it goes well. He doesn't do his personal best but it's to be expected since backstroke isn't his speciality and that he set his personal best at Junior World's earlier that year.

Louis' nervous for Harry's two hundred butterfly since Harry needed his inhaler after the hundred back but after a lot of insisting from Harry, he gets to remain in the event.

Harry starts a little off pace, ahead of the pack but his first lap ends up being 31.01, whereas Harry tends to go out hard on the first leg and 31.01 is off. He picks up the pace in the in the second lap with a 29.89 and ends up finishing with a great time of 2:02.79.

There's no reason Louis should be worried after seeing Harry swim that good of a time, but Louis just know there's something  _wrong._

After the morning session, the meet breaks for lunch. Harry and Louis stay instead of leaving like most, opting to have a sandwich while idling.

Harry's awfully quiet, munching on his sandwich quietly while Louis relates a few stories about school that week.

Eventually Louis sighs and moves closer to him, “Honestly, Curly, you better tell me what's wrong with you.”

Harry's eyebrows raise and he puts down his sandwich while working on chewing what's in his mouth, “I don't know what you mean.”

Louis pointedly glares at him, “Harry. You're off.”

Harry swallows and looks away, actively trying to avoid his gaze, “I'm fine.”

“Don't give me that 'I'm fine' bullshit. Something's up.”

Harry sighs, putting his heads in hands, hunching over to rest his elbows on his knees, “My head is killing me.”

Louis immediately softens while his hand instantly moves to rub Harry's back, “Why didn't you say anything earlier? We need to get you something.”

Harry shakes his head, sitting back up, “It's not that bad.”

Louis frowns, “Well, you can't swim if you don't take anything now--”

“Not you too, Louis,” Harry interrupts him, “I'm so tired of hearing it from everyone and I can't believe you're telling me too.”

Louis' jaw drops, mouth hanging open as he tries to find words, “Harry, I--”

“God, I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore. What am I supposed to do if not swim?”

“All I said was that if you don't take medicine then you shouldn't swim this afternoon's programme.”

“That's the problem! Why are you always trying to control me? Swimming is my thing not yours, and you like everyone else is just trying to take it away from me,” Harry choked out, voice rough.

Louis' hand moves off Harry's back and he turns to face away from him, frown evident although Harry can't see it, “I don't know how you could say that to me when I'm just trying to help. You know how I feel about swimming, you know how I feel about  _you and swimming_ yet you think that I'd try to take it away from you?”

Harry knows he should stop, that this is his chance to take things back and fix them, but the pounding in his head is strong and his muscles are sore and weak and he just  _needs to let it out._ “It's not about you.”

“Oh, it's all about you right?” Louis says while whipping back around to face him, “Everything is all about what you want and what you think. We're all just trying to tear you down and ruin every dream you've ever had. Typical Harry, so self absorbed that he can't think about how his stupid actions affect everyone else!”

Harry feels like he's been stabbed, like his heart has been ripped out by the one person he trusted to hold it. He figures that's exactly what he did to Louis but it still  _fucking hurts._

He's not sure what else he'll say if he stays, so he's up and starts walking, “I'm sorry- I just want to be alone now.”

He doesn't listen when Louis tells him to come back, he just keeps walking, exiting the stands and moving to the locker room. He sits on the ground and leans his aching head back against a locker, pulling up his knees against his chest.

He curses when he realizes he's left his headphones in the stands and he's not ready to go back and face Louis so he remains there.

In the silence. Alone.

*

Louis' angry.

He's confused, he's lonely, and he's angry. He feels so useless and powerless since his boyfriend is clearly miserable and alone in the locker room but yet, he can't bring himself to go.

He's hurt over what Harry said to him. He can't help that especially since he'd do anything to go back and stop himself from quitting swimming. He's hurt because Harry thinks that he wants to control him when all he really wants is to be there for him.

He never thought that he was too pushy or too bossy. He always thought that Harry appreciated and loved it but he was wrong. Harry  _hates_ it.

He feels like he's wasted his time, coming to watch Harry at practice and cheer him on at meets has obviously been so  _useless._

He's lonely because there's never anyone other than Harry that he'd go to for comfort.

He's angry because he knows Harry's also being a prick, and he won't  _ever_ tolerate that.

What he really wants to do is find out what's troubling Harry, he wants to fix things,  _control_ things Harry would say, but right now he's unable to move. At all.

He ends up lying down, head resting on Harry's sports bag while he questions everything. Why he's even here if Harry doesn't want him to be.

People return soon enough and the stands fill up again and Harry's still gone. Harry's mum left after the morning session and won't be coming back and that leaves him with the job to take care of Harry.

He can see why Harry sees his ways as controlling, since Anne already babies him horribly and doesn't like him walking home or going anywhere alone without at least Louis there. Louis always has to be there, he always has to make sure he's okay.

Harry  _is_ the biggest baby on the planet and to some extent he knows it, but he must be tired of everyone having some say in his life. Louis understands that all Harry wants is to swim, but he  _can't_ just let him gallivant when he has other stuff to do.

He loves him so fiercely and it's deeper than the romantic bond they've formed, it goes all the way back to them as kids swimming together. He loves him wholly and completely and he'd do anything to keep him safe and happy.

The meet begins again and Harry's still hiding out in the locker room, leaving Louis to worry alone in the stands. Harry's four hundred I.M is coming up and Louis knows Harry is probably psyched out beyond repair.

He waits out the heats, on the edge of his seat as the final heat comes up. His eyes flash over to the blocks, where they're being lined up for their heats. He views Harry from afar and frowns when he notices he doesn't have his headphones.

Louis searches through the bag and curses when they're sitting right there along with Harry's ipod. He turns back to see that Harry's stripped himself of his track suit and is standing before the block.

He's not stretching at all and suddenly he's bringing his hand to his mouth and-  _fuck_ \- he's biting his nails. It's a nervous habit that they've worked out of Harry but he's doing it now,  _before a race_ .

Louis' heart races as he watches him get on the block, on his mark immediately as he always does. He looks a little bit more like himself when he dives off, years of training and experience being unable to break.

Louis' anxious as he watches him go, already ahead of the other swims as he comes back on the first hundred metres in butterfly. Louis observes his stroke; it's just as fast as it normally is but his form his  _off._ His kick to pull ratio is off, his shoulders look strained with each stroke and to everyone else he probably looks fine since he's far ahead, but to Louis he knows everything's  _wrong._

Harry continues to swim and his backstroke is just as sloppy as his butterfly but halfway through he increases his speed. Louis would normally to murder him for going off pace but he's far too worried about him to even think on it.

Harry's breaststroke leg is when things start to go wrong. Breast is supposed to be his best stroke and yet he  _loses speed_ and his form is just so off that he's sure all the coaches notice. When he's off for the freestlye, he starts sprinting and it's so  _not Harry_ what he's doing.

Harry's flip turn is lazy on the last lap and he's slowed down significantly. Louis' on his feet and he can't help himself from shaking like he is now. He feels as if it's him in the water.

Harry cruises in the wall and he touches, he pulls his swim cap off and starts coughing. Louis reaches into the bag and retrieves the inhaler and he's descending down the steps on the stands until he stops when he sees Harry brace his arms on the pool deck and lift himself.

_Somehow,_ Harry's muscles fail him and he's falling back in and his head collides with the starting block as he goes down. Louis can't help the shout that leaves him and he's running over to the deck.

He's stopped by the officials, has to be physically held back while others retrieve Harry's unconscious body from the water.

Louis doesn't know how this happened so fast. One minute they're chatting then the next they're fighting and Harry's leaving. Then Harry swims so unlike himself while Louis worries and now  _Harry's being put on a stretcher_ while people hold him back from going to him.

He's sure he's crying and maybe he's in hysterics but all he can think is  _that's his best friend_  they're putting an oxygen mask on. That's his love they're moving to an ambulance.

As far as he's concerned, he's useless to help him.

He doesn't know how it came to  _this._

_-_

Louis sits outside the hospital room, cup of coffee in his hand as he tries to stay awake. It's only nine in the night but he feels so exhausted, his anxiety and worry tiring him.

The doctors said that Harry would be fine, that he was stressed enough to have physical effects. Apparently the hit to his head left him concussed and that other than that after a week or two, he'd be fine.

Anne is in there, sitting next to the hospital bed while they wait for him to wake up. Louis' not sure if he should be in there or not, if Harry wants him there right now so he remains outside.

His own mother called him not too long ago and she's supposed to pick him up since visiting hours are long over. He wishes Harry would wake up now so he could just say hi before his mother comes for him.

Life doesn't always follow his wishes and his mum arrives in only a few minutes and after she has a long talk with Anne, they leave.

He doesn't sleep that night, way too anxious to enjoy the few hours of comfort. All he can do is lay awake, mind stuck on Harry.

It's not even different from any other night.

-

Harry opens his eyes slowly, adjusting to the lighting as he tries to clear his head. His head feels like someone's taken a hammer to it repeatedly and he can barely focus on _now_ from the pain.

He closes his eyes again, squeezing them shut as he tries to subdue the pain. He hears his name not much longer and he's looking at a familiar face as soon as he opens his eyes.

He makes it out as his mother's face and he sees her lips move but he can barely hear the words over the pounding in his head. He eventually grunts as he gives up and his eyes flutter close again.

When his eyes peek open, he's not sure how much time has passed since the last. The light in the room has him blinking until he can finally see in front of him.

He's looks at the white ceiling above him and frowns at the unfamiliar pattern. He shoots up on the bed, sitting upright as he looks around. He feels the throbbing in his head return and his hand reaches up to touch the side of his head, only to be met with a bandage.

“Oh my god, you're awake.” He recognizes the voice as his mother's and soon enough she's in front of him, hugging him tightly.

“What happened?” He mumbles as he tries to recall previous events.

Anne pulls back and smiles at him, “What do you remember?”

Harry thinks back and he's not sure what's supposed to be the last thing he knows, “I don't know. I'm not sure.”

Anne takes the seat beside the bed while the doctor comes in to check on him. “You were at the meet and you'd just completed your four hundred I.M and as you were climbing out you arms gave out and you hit your head badly on the blocks.”

Harry touches the sore spot as he's told, “I remember the meet... I don't remember falling though.”

The doctor speaks up then, “It's normal for you to lose memories of things before your concussion and how you got it.”

“Concussion,” Harry mumbles and his voice sounds weak, “Is it bad?”

The doctor shakes his head, “You were out for awhile but everything seems to be fine. You'll just have to rest, and rest meaning rest from everything, for about a week or two.”

Harry nodded despite the pain, “Okay.”

Anne rubbed his back gently, “Also no training for a month. It's for your recovery and your punishment.”

“A month?” Harry protested, “And my punishment? I didn't mean to get concussed.”

Anne shook her head, “Apparently you'd been in a bad state before you even hit your head. And yet you still swam although Louis told you not to.”

“Louis,” Harry muttered, “My boyfriend, Louis. I don't remember talking to him.”

“Well you've been stressing yourself unnecessarily and it's time you stopped.”

Harry frowned, “I can't cut back on the swimming, I--”

“You will,” Anne said firmly, “Because you're literally killing yourself. Take it easy now that things are slow in swimming.”

“I can't get complacent,” Harry argued although he was tired enough to sleep for a decade.

“It's not getting complacent. You're just going to take it easy and do just enough to keep in the game. So, no more weights until the season starts again and you'll only do morning training on Tuesdays and Thursdays.”

Harry pouted before lying back against the pillows, “Mum please.”

Anne stood and brushed his fringe from his face, “Harry, just listen please. It's your senior year. Please enjoy it before swimming really takes over everything.”

There's a part of him that wants to just say  _no, this is my life,_ but there's also the part that needs the break, the part that's been screaming at him to just  _relax._

Harry sighed, eyes closing from exhaustion, “Okay. Okay, that's fine.”

Anne smiled and bent over to kiss him on the forehead, “Good.”

-

When he wakes up again, it's to chatter all around the room. His eyes squint open and he manages to view his mother in the corner conversing with a doctor. As his eyes prepare to scan the room further, his view is blocked by a single, familiar body.

“Harry, you  _absolute idiot._ ”

His lips twitch into a smile as he recognizes the voice and before he can reply, that same body is crashing in to him for a hug.

“Don't you  _ever,_ ” Louis starts, “Pull that bullshit again.”

Harry's own arm wraps around Louis' back while the smaller boy buries his face in his chest. He doesn't say anything for a while but he frowns when he feels something wet soaking his hospital gown.

“It was so scary,” Louis chokes out, “To see that happen to you and not being able to help you. I felt so  _useless_ when all I've ever wanted to do was protect you.”

Louis raises his head to look at him, unashamed of his tear stained face, “Harry, I know you hate it, but I have to protect you. I have to.”

Harry moves aside a lock of Louis' hair from his face before his lips kiss his forehead, “You do protect me, you do. And I love it, I love you. I'm so sorry, Louis.”

Louis shakes his head, “You probably don't remember but we fought before the race and that's what you said. You hated when I tried to control you--”

“You don't control me,” Harry interrupted softly, “You look out for me which- judging by the present circumstances- I do need to be looked out for. It was a heat of the moment statement, I swear.”

“Promise me you won't do that again. That you won't overwork yourself.”

“I promise,” Harry nods and he's kissing Louis' wet lips, hands cradling his face, “My head still hurts.”

Louis' eyes widen and then he's scrambling off him and back onto the floor, “Shit, I'm sorry. You need rest and that means no kissing, no thinking, no talking, no--”

Harry rolls his eyes but there's no malice held in the action. Louis likes it this way. “No need to remind me,  _Doc,_ I know what I'm supposed to do.”

Louis blushes and tries to cover up his embarrassment with a scowl, “Whatever, Styles.”

“You know you love me,” Harry grins.

“No talking.”

-

_December 2014_

_-_

_Study study study_ is the pace he's been on when he's finally allowed to leave his bed.

After leaving the hospital, Harry got just a week of bed rest before he was allowed to go out or watch television.

He's technically being punished since his doctor had given him the okay to go back to training but his mom insisted that he not go to tr wanting a repeat of the last meet to occur. So he finds it hard to preoccupy himself. With the amount of sleep he's getting he finds it easier to stay awake in class and, well, math turns out to not be that bad.

So when he'd normally be at training he's at home actually getting school work done. It's like the burden on his back just got so much lighter now that he has time to  _breathe._

Louis has to admit he's glad that Harry's taken a step back- not just because now he can have more of him but because he sees how much more relaxed Harry is. He's smiling much more than Louis has seen recently and, honestly, nothing makes him happier.

He grins as he receives a text from Harry on a Saturday afternoon then sits up on his bed. It's futile as he attempts to wipe the fond off his face, especially since the twins are playing some game on his bedroom floor, but he supposes they already know flushed he gets when anything Harry is brought up.

He glances around the room, eyes landing on the desk full of old medals that he thinks it's time he throws out or at least put into storage. He shakes off the thought and opens the text.

_I just wanked with my Cullen Jones hand :)_

Louis bursts out into laughter as he reads it. Harry never let anyone forgot that at last year's Junior World's he got to shake hands with Cullen Jones.

Louis rolls his eyes as his fingers start moving on their own accord,  _Without me? ;)_

Louis puts down the phone on his pillow as he moves his attention to the open Calculus textbook by the foot of the bed. He wastes about ten minutes of his time staring at the words before he deems himself worthy of a break. He shuts the book and shuffles up the bed to where his phone lies, getting settled before unlocking it and viewing his messages.

Harry apparently was feeling very lonely while Louis was attempting to study and now Louis' bombarded with the mass of text messages that he sent.

 

_'Hahaha, I just had some me time in like forever'_

 

_'I'll do you next if you come over ;)'_

 

_'As in a blowjob, if you were wondering'_

 

_'_ _That was too forward wasn't it, shit'_

 

_'_ _Wait you're my boyfriend lol'_

 

_'I wanna suck your dick'_

 

_'Stop ignoring me'_

 

Louis shook his head while laughing before deciding to put Harry out of his misery and reply, _'I have a calculus test that I need to study for. I would never ignore you'_

Harry's reply comes so quickly,  _'Yes you woouuuulllldddd'_

 

_'6 foot eighteen year old baby'_

 

_'That's me :)'_

 

Louis puts the phone down again, fighting the urge to stare at the phone until another text comes in. He scratches his head as he tries to understand the gibberish in his textbook before closing it.

He walks around his room, playing with the medal dangling from his desk. He has it in his hand in a few seconds and a smile graces his face as he reads it.

2 nd place in 100m butterfly, age group 11-12. Louis scoffs as he bets himself he can find the gold medal for this particular race if he went through Harry's collection. Too bad that'd take way too long. The sound of his phoning ringing brings him out of his thoughts and he scampers over to answer.

“Hello?” He says into the phone and he's almost cut off by the immediate response.

“I'm so bored.” Ah, Harry.

Louis laughs as he sits on the edge of the bed, medal still in hand, “I can see that since you can't wait a few minutes for me to answer.”

Harry snorts, “How can I? I actually finished homework and it's not even dark yet. What kind of sick way of life is this? I haven't gotten this much sleep since I was like ten.”

“We mortals call it time management and responsibility. I'm not sure if your kind knows anything of the sort.”

Louis can practically hear Harry's pout, “I don't like this, not one bit.”

“Yeah, I prefer when you're a swimbot.”

“ _Dedicated,_ Lou. Get it right.”

“My apologies,” Louis snickers, “I prefer when you're  _dedicated._ ”

Harry hums, “So about that date.”

“Date?”

“Mhmm,” Harry says, “The date I was supposed to take you on, remember that?”

He thinks back and, well, he was wondering what happened to the date he was promised, “Maybe I do.”

“Well, I just figured out what it should be.” Louis waits a few moments for Harry to say more but the line stays silent.

“And?”

Harry suddenly lets out a laugh, “Ha, it's a surprise!”

“Why the hell would you tell me then?” Louis says hastily, his tone laden with frustration. So maybe he hates surprises, fight him.

Harry whistles in mock innocence, “Because your reaction is funny.”

Harry's met with silence. It wouldn't be the first time Louis' hung up on him.

He'll live.

-

_April 2015_

_-_

Summer's approaching quickly.

Harry gets back in the pool soon enough after his mother's ban on swimming and of course there's almost no change except for maybe his more relaxed approach than before.

His time management skills are getting much better and his math grade is brought up in no time. There's swimming,  _lots of swimming_ , so many meets he's competed in that normally he'd be pulling his hair out with stress. Now, however, he's able to take a step back from training, just take a breather for once.

Graduation is what's on everyone's mind at the moment. Harry himself has countless numbers of acceptance letters and scholarship offers, probably all due to his swim career than anything else. Regardless, he's got options (and he's most definitely not paying more attention to the ones that match up with Louis').

“I want a good team, obviously, with a good coach, but I also want to stay with you, you know?” Harry says, stroking Louis' hair while the smaller lad's curled up in his lap.

“I want that too, but I mean, we both have to go for our best options.”

“How about we compromise? We go to the same area but not the same university?”

Louis snorts, “You're the one with what, what was it, fifty odd acceptances, not me. Why'd you apply to so many anyway?”

Harry shrugs, “They all had good teams.” He pauses, “And remember we tried to apply for a lot of the same schools? It all just added up.”

Louis shifts his head from where it rests in Harry's lap to smirk up at him, “Look at you, Mr. Popular. Getting accepted to so many colleges.”

Harry smiles down at him, dimples proudly on display, “Who knew so many schools were desperate for good swimmers with slightly above average scores.”

Louis' finger reaches up to poke his left dimple, “Unbelievable. The rest of us mortals must work hard at school.”

“Awe babe, We all know you're the god forced to mingle with humans rather than a simple mortal,” Harry teases, tugging a bit on Louis' hair.

Louis' rolling his eyes as he sits up, slinging an arm around Harry's shoulder, “Right, how could I forget? Good thing my favourite mortal's here to remind me.”

Harry takes the opportunity to kiss him on the lips for just a brief second before he's pulling back, his lips brushing his boyfriend's. “So, same university? Or do we go the  _let's get some distance route_ ?”

Louis smiles, pushing their lips together for a short, sweet kiss, “Let's not worry about that right now. Now, where's the date you've been promising me since like the beginning of this year.”

Harry's smile grows into a grin and he pulls away from the small embrace they made for themselves. He digs through the drawer of his night stand and pulls out another envelope.

Louis raises a brow as Harry opens it then hands it to Louis who accepts hesitantly, “This looks more like a gift than a date.”

“Look what it is,” Harry rolls his eyes.

Louis resists the urge to scowl as his fingers reach in, pulling out two airline tickets. He brings them closer to his face, his eyes quickly reading it, “LA? When would we even go there?”

“As soon as summer break begins,” Harry answers proudly. So he's thought it out, Louis notes.

“You're going to Australia as soon as summer breaks starts,” Louis argues and he's not even sure why. Obviously he wants Harry to go with him to LA. It's  _Los Angeles._

“Nope. We're going to Disneyland.”

Louis feels his heart stop and then his whole body freezes. He can't possibly be hearing right, “What?”

Harry smiles so warmly his body can move again, unfrozen. Harry has a way of doing that to him, making him feel warm and fuzzy and whatever other cheesy feeling out there.

“I thought you already confirmed for Australia? There's no need to cancel, we can go some other time and-”

“Aha! I knew you'd say that,” Harry cuts him off, “Summer is a few months away but nothing's been paid for yet. I'm just on the confirmation list. Well, I  _was_ on the confirmation list.”

“You can't just skip out on this clinic. It'll benefit you so much.”

“I'm going to a clinic in Florida later on in the summer and that'll be enough. I'm not eleven anymore, Lou. Missing one camp won't ruin things for me.”

Louis sighs; he's running out of arguments way too quickly, “But our parents-”

“I've already got it talked out with both our parents. Operation Disneyland is a go.” Harry's grinning triumphantly. Louis curses to himself. He never likes having to admit defeat.

“I don't know what to say. I just though we were going to go out for dinner or something like that.”

“Well I kept you waiting long enough. I guess my ideas just got grander with time.” Harry shrugs, grin still on his face, “We'll have so much fun, Lou. We promised each other we'd go sometime later and unlike the last plan, this one's just me, you, and every Disney princess ever created.”

Louis lets out a small laugh and the smallest of tears escapes the corner of his eye, “That sounds great.”

Before Louis can try to wipe it away, Harry's hand is already there with his thumb caressing his cheek, “I love you so much. Like a ridiculous amount of love.”

Louis doesn't know why he's always embarrassing himself by crying in front of his boyfriend, but it's not his fault he's literally so weak for this boy. He's so so _so_ in love with him.

“I love you,” Louis says back pathetically, resisting the urge to tack on a 'more' at the end of the statement. He and Harry can argue for days as to who loves the other more.

Harry presses their foreheads together and just like that they're comfortable. Cuddled up in Harry's bedroom, the same child-like room they've been having sleepovers in since they were eight, the one littered with medals and trophies and anything else swimming related, the one they shared their first kiss in.

Swim clubs, high school, college, jobs, the Olympics, marriage, kids,  _adult life,_ everything they've ever dreamed of, all solidified in their promises to one another.

Promises they've never broken. Promises they never will break.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you like!


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